Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

I'd like to tell you some jokes now but you'd only laugh.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific especially the one in the winter.