He’s hot. Too hot for me. Jeez, if he said the word sex to me I would probably pass-out.

Laurie picks up a briefcase and places it on the table. He opens the lid and his head disappears under the top. Oh god. Is he about to introduce me to a cat of nine tails, or some bizarre tickling stick? Brace yourself Liz. Cate told you to always carry your pepper spray, you fool.

Elizabeth, when you look into the darkness you have two choices. You either fall into it, so you’ll never fear the unknown again. Or you stay on the ledge, always wondering what’s there. Torturing yourself over it. Elizabeth, I live in the abyss, and would like you to leap into the unknown with me. Will you join me?

Something has gotten into me; something I didn’t want. The moment my skin touched hers, it overwhelmed me with desires of the deepest kind. It’s crawled beneath my flesh, and my every pore is infected by her. An addiction that is as frustrating as this illness.

I gripped hold of that scarf like my life depended on it. Still to this day I inhale it every night, despite what has happened over the years. I don’t blame her now for not waiting. For all she knew, I wouldn’t return. But to marry him, god, she could have done so much better.

Their marriage was cold and tedious. Formal and unloving. Stale even. She never had any regrets like this with Jack. With Jack, a rainy day would be cheerful.

So, let’s make this a little interesting… a race. If I win, then you have to polish every saddle and strap of leather of Byron’s, including all brasses and buckles. Oh, and every one of my many pairs of boots.”“And if I win?” I asked, already aware of what I wanted.“What would you like Jack… name it?”“A kiss.”She flushed red. “Fine. Count of three- one- two….”She wouldn’t even give me that three. She was off.

Deep down Kelly, I think you want me here. I think you’re too damn scared to admit you need me. And I think I’m the only one who will understand the truth.

I gaze at his pale skin as this energy hits me. My jaw is clamped tight as my eyes squeeze out the pain. I’ve felt this before. It’s like he’s telling me to let him go.

Well, I did tell you I couldn’t give you a thing. Maybe you’ve just realised that Alistair can give the god damn world, and the pleasure of kissing his shiny slap-head every day!

If I bother you so much, why did you let me kiss you again in that hospital? Is the reason to screw up my head more, to see if you still have the knack for it? Because congratulations Nell, you’ve succeeded yet again.

I will never return home to Elham. I can’t. To see her would crush me. I need to let her go now. And I need to move on. I’ve come to realise that she was right. We were two completely different people, and we didn’t belong together. But I will never hold any regrets of what we had. It will always be a time of my life that was perfect. Goodbye sweet Nell.