Even though life is difficult as times, you must understand that these challenges are not here to beat you, defeat you, or squash you like a bug. Life is not against you (even though it feels that way sometimes). Every single experience is in your life to serve your process of growth and learning. Every situation you experience serves that purpose and is ultimately for your good.
Life is not out to get you, even though it feels that way sometimes. You are totally safe every step of the way (at least you have the option of seeing life that way if you want to). Life is about learning to walk the tightrope, find your balance, and trust God, life and yourself in the process. And you can do this, because there is really nothing to fear. When you get this concept it is going to change everything.
If life is a classroom then you’re still in the learning process part. In the learning process part, if you make a mistake you can just erase it and try again. In a classroom your mistakes deserve course correction and education, not punishment. Here the goal is to teach you how to behave better, not to fail or get rid of you. In a classroom, you can be a work in progress, and that’s okay. In a classroom, you are free to make mistakes in order to learn, because mistakes are part of learning. There are still consequences to every choice, but in a classroom you can’t fail, because your value isn’t on the line. If life is a classroom, you have the same value no matter how much you struggle, how many mistakes you make or how you perform. If life is a classroom you are safe.
Your number one task here is forgiving yourself and the people who mistreat you. You must learn to do this if you want to experience real happiness and peace in this life. You must do this if you want to feel accepted, valued and safe. The only way to feel innocent and worthy – is to give it to other people. That is just how it works.
You will have the ability to see other people accurately as divine, amazing, irreplaceable, human beings in the process, just like you. You will have the ability to forgive them and live in wisdom and compassion. You can do this because all of these qualities are in you. In fact, they are who you really are.
Your life will always be the perfect classroom journey for you and every experience that shows up in your journey is here to serve you. There is meaning and purpose behind everything that happens. There are no accidents which means your suffering through difficulties is never for nothing. Your life matters and everything you experience matters. Your trials are there to help you become a better person and trusting this is truth will take some of the sting out of them. Suffering becomes more bearable if it at least counts for something.
No one can repair your self-esteem for you. Your spouse cannot fix it. Your parents cannot fix it. Your boss cannot fix it. No amount of success or beauty enhancements can fix it. You have to fix it by changing the way you see yourself. You have to choose to see yourself accurately, to see life as a classroom, and commit to the policy that you have the same value no matter how you perform. It is time to claim the power to do this and not let anyone take your self-esteem from you again.
Most people think that once they lose the weight or make more money they will finally feel good about them themselves, but they are usually disappointed when they get there to find they don’t feel better. This happens because real self-worth can’t be earned. Real self-worth comes from understanding the truth about who you are and understanding that your value is infinite and absolute no matter what. This is the only way to peace.
You are an irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, amazing being. There will never be another you and this fact alone makes you infinitely and absolutely valuable. Having absolute value means you cannot be diminished by anything or anyone. You are bulletproof and nothing can change your value.
You have probably worked your entire life to create a sense of identity around your job, your family, your hobbies, or your physical characteristics. But none of these is who you really are. You are not what you look like. You are not your family. You are not your job, income, or performance. You are not your current situation or the mistakes you have made. Mistakes are just locations on your journey; they have nothing to do with who you are, and neither does what you do or how successful you are. You are bigger than all those things. You are much more than just a businessman or a mom or a student. You are a divine, irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, amazing, loving, eternal being, and your value comes from that fact alone. You come from God, who is love, which to me would mean - you are love too. You have to be. And if you are love then nothing you do or don’t do can change your value, because no matter what you do or how many mistakes you make, you are still YOU; you are still LOVE. You can’t help it. You cannot be anything else.
Be a good person, do good things, learn, and love other people, but do these things because you love yourself, God, life and people, not because you fear going to hell if you don’t. Keep the commandments (or whatever tenets you believe) because you want to be happy. Do it for you. God and the universe will unconditionally love you no matter which path you choose. You can learn whatever lessons you choose for yourself. If you want to learn things the hard way and experience fear, guilt and shame that is okay. But nothing you do (or don’t do) can separate you from love.
The universe uses every experience you have to help you grow and learn. No experience is wasted. Every choice you make and everything that happens to you because of other people’s choices become your perfect lessons. As you learn to trust this truth, you will experience less fear and more peace.
I say this because all religions, accurately understood, will take away your fear of not being enough. I believe there is a way to understand the tenets of your religion, right now, that will take away your fear and make you feel loved and safe. The problem is that no matter what you believe or to which religion you belong, there are two ways you can experience your beliefs. There is a fear way you can experience your religion, and a love way to experience it. All religions can be experienced both ways. All life philosophies can be experienced both ways too.If you search your personal books of scripture, you will find both ideas equally represented. There will be verses or sections that validate a fear-based view of God and there will be some that validate a love-based view of God. Don’t be confused by this. Both ideas had to be represented for you to have free agency. Anything less than equal representation of each idea would take away your freedom to choose.
I believe the higher power in the universe is compassionate, understanding, and all-knowing, and that there is nothing you can do that will change His love for you. I believe God’s love for you is infinite and absolute, and your value as an irreplaceable, unique, one-of-a-kind, divine soul is infinite and absolute too, because it is based in God’s love for you. Does this make sense to you, the way it does to me? I believe this is truth. I believe your value is not on the line; that your value is literally absolute and unchangeable. You have the same infinite value no matter what you do or don’t do. I believe you are a perfect and divine creation and as such your value is secure forever, no matter how many mistakes (driven by fear and misconception) you make down here. I believe God understands that your mistakes are part of your learning process. Mistakes teach you beautiful and important lessons. It makes no sense to condemn you for being lost, confused, scared and stupid down here, when for the most part we all are. We are doing the best we can with what we know, but we don’t know enough and are no where close to perfect. I believe God wants you to keep learning and growing, but that He loves you and accepts you as you are right now.
The world needs people who have survived mistakes, tragedies, and trials to help the rest of us through. Where would we be if Victor Frankl had never experienced what he did during the war? He wouldn’t have used his experiences to benefit millions of people around the world. The world needs you to let go of self-pity and shame regarding your life experiences, too. The world needs you to use the things you have learned for good. Stop letting your past mistakes define you and affect your value. Let go of separation and victimhood and find meaning in what you have been through.
At this very moment you are probably basing your value on how other people value you, even though most of the time, you don’t even know what these people really think. You are assuming what they think based on behavior you interpreted. In truth, most people don’t think about you at all. They are too focused on their own stuff. And if they do think about you, they probably don’t think what you think they think. You are most likely projecting your own fears of not being good enough onto them. What you think they think tells you more about your own opinion of yourself than theirs.