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  3. Katie Heaney
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And though nobody has been dumb enough to say anything close to "You need to get laid" to my face, I resent the idea that anyone might think, if they knew my history, that I'd be slightly different by virtue of having a penis-however briefly-inside me. That is some phallocentric bullshit if I ever heard any. Hypothetical penises don't make the rules. I make the rules. I love the rules.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
dating sex rules feminist penis laid phallocentric

Guys who would make fun of girls for sexual inexperience are terrible people, and when girls do it to other girls it feels even shittier. Guys who shame girls who haven't had sex want them to feel like they aren't doing their job, which is to be sexually available and attractive to guys. (And never mind if they are gay, or just uninterested.) Girls who shame other girls for these reasons are helping those guys. They are saying this: You are not accomplished where it matters, and I am better than you. I have proven that men find me attractive, and that is what counts. These people, boys and girls and men and women alike, are all dickheads.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
relationships sex gender discrimination virginity

Sex is not a wizard, whatever magical-seeming properties it might possess in its better forms. If your friend says to you, "You're being mean, you need to get laid," your problem is not sex. Your problems are that you might be acting like an asshole, and your friends are definitely idiots.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
inspirational romance humor sex friendships gay men-and-women memoir virginity

I'm going to stay a little uptight and anxious.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
self-awareness self-realization

I am obviously not a patient person.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
self-awareness patience self-realization

It was different than all the rest because I say it was. I felt it was.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
feelings difference

This is THE most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, and it involves both drugs and a toilet.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
romance romantic drugs

Girls are nothing to be afraid of, no matter the kind. Boys, on the other hand.

em Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date
girls boys

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