Do not let your boss, your spouse, your kids, your neighbors, or anyone push you around or walk all over you. This does not mean you need to be a butt-hole - but you may need to draw some clear lines for the people in your life. Want to do it right? Communicate expectations clearly, and consistently. People cannot treat you the way you want them to treat you unless you tell them HOW to treat you.
Stop blaming racism, politics, bullies, your crappy parents, your ex-wife, your lack of friends or anything else for your problems. Sometimes, I think our “problems” are really just opportunities to test our metal. We look at them as holes that we fall into, when really, they are the CHANCE to prove to ourselves and those around us just what kind of men we are!
Women are awesome! I may not agree with the politics behind a lot of contemporary feminism, I like to think that feminism at it’s core is a good thing. Women are not our underlings, they are not subservient, they are not objects created for our pleasure. They are our equals, and should be treated with the same respect and dignity that we expect for ourselves.
I know that women want to be treated equally - and they should be treated equally - but the truth is - no man should ever strike a woman unless he needs to protect his life or the life of another - and even then - fleeing the situation is a better option whenever possible. If you find yourself at a place where you are so angry that you want to strike a woman - then you need to get some help.
The truth is - no matter how “self-made” you think you are, you are really made by many who have invested in your life.Be known as a thankful and grateful person… and be known as the person that is investing in others to build them up, as well. It’s your way of paying back the debt that others have invested in you.
What we need to do is treat some of our thoughts like door to door salesmen. If someone comes to your door and asks if he can come inside and throw some dirt on your floor to demonstrate his vaccuum cleaner - you would probably tell him “No thanks! See you later!” And yet - if a friend stopped by with a meatloaf and wanted to visit - we’d say “Come on in!” We need to stop being PASSIVE about what thoughts can take residence in our head.
I know that not every family is a clean-cut nuclear Mom and Dad at home situation - but I think every father needs to do whatever he can to be present in the lives of his kids. If you are in a situation where you have not been - fight for it. Don’t give up till you get it. Don’t be a jerk about it - don’t “fight” mom - but “fight” whatever things tell you to just give up. Send cards, make phone calls, pay your support, and do whatever you can to be present in the lives of your children.
Mentorship happens organically, and you can’t just force it. Many men don’t even know HOW to mentor, and often mentor others by accident. It’s not a mentor’s responsibility to mentor, it’s the responsibility of the mentee to seek mentorship and appropriate it.
Feelings are great, and they have a purpose, but it’s certainly not to guide your life. Whoever said, “Follow your heart” was a fool. Your “heart” is your emotional center. Emotions have a great purpose - to allow us to enjoy life, to mourn loss, to have a tangible way to experience love - but feelings are fickle, and they are not meant to be the guiding force in our life.
The root of the word “integrity” is “integer.” It’s a math term - and it refers to whole numbers. The word itself implies “wholeness.” These are the questions we must ask ourselves frequently. “Am I whole?” “Are there parts of my character that are lacking?