There are a few things in life that occur, that you don't ask for, that are just dealt to you.These things can define you or you can define yourself through them.I elect to define myself through overcoming what has been dealt to me in my life.It took thirty-one years and two generations of tweaking to get my first perfect ending.Now I am going to work on my next one.

You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in.The good news is you get another chance to improve in another second.

Always believe.

Mr. Passaro, let me teach you about how medicine works.” He starts out.“One of two things is going to happen. Either the Doctors are going to say I told you so, or they are going to say that Jess was the exception. What you believe will determine who gets to say I told you so to whom.” “Never stop believing.” He begs me.“Doctor, you are on the team”. I say.He smiles.

I need to dream.I need to believe. I need to know that I have some control in my life.That if I work hard, that I will be rewarded.That life is not arbitrary.I need to believe that bad things happen to good people, for a greater reason.That dedication, sacrifice, hard work, discipline are all worthy attributes that will eventually produce extraordinary results.That if I live a certain lifestyle, that my family will be better for that.That there is a direct link between my actions and my results.That If I prepare properly that I can face the insurmountable foe and look him in the eye and say “Bring it on, I can take whatever you can dish out.” I need to keep living in order to save my daughter from dying.

In some aspects losing a child is like a wall, but instead of getting over it, you must carry the wall with you, wherever you go, for as long as you live.The wall is immovable.You can’t go anywhere until you learn to move the wall.You are just stuck in the same place, forever.You can tug and tug all you want, there are days that the wall will not move.And there are days that it moves ever so slightly.Over time I have realized that in order to move forward, knowing that I must bring this wall with me, that the best way to do so is to metaphorically flood the soil near the wall with water, and have the wall float with me, instead of me having to carry it.Every act of love and kindness turns to water.Water and love can penetrate and move anything.It just takes time. I need to turn my wall into a raft.

It has taken me four years to figure this out.If we live long enough, we all will experience this.Don’t ever predetermine how you think that you should feel on an anniversary of a tragic event in your life, such as a death of a loved one, or on a holiday after such an event.Each year starts out with 365 days, and I will be damned if I am giving up even one of them to misery.

There is a club in this world that you do not join knowingly.One day you are just a member.It is “The life changing events club.”The fee to join the club is hurt beyond belief, payable in full, up front for a lifetime membership.The benefit of the club is a new found perspective on life, and a deep understanding that you may not be happy about your current situation, but you can be happy in your current situation.The only rule to the club is that you cannot tell anyone that you are a member.The club does not provide a directory of its members, but when you look into a member’s eye, you can tell that they too are part of the club. Members are allowed to exchange that brief eye contact that says: “I didn’t know.”Being a member of this club is the last thing that anyone initially wants in their life.Being a member of this club is the best thing that ever happens to a person in their life, and there is not a person in the club that would ever give up their membership.If you really look and know what you are looking for you can spot the clubs members; they are the ones that provide a random act of kindness and do something for someone who can never repay them for what they have done. They are the people spreading joy and optimism and lifting people’s spirits even when their own heart has been broken.I have paid my dues; my lifetime membership arrived today, not by mail, but by a deep inner feeling that I cannot describe.It is the best club that I never wanted to be part of. But I am glad that I am a member.

Life is like a train ride. The passengers on the train are seemingly going to the same destination as you, but based on their belief in you or their belief that the train will get them to their desired destination they will stay on the ride or they will get off somewhere during the trip. People can and will get off at any stop. Just know that where people get off is more of an reflection on them, than it is on you. There will be a few people in your life that will make the whole trip with you, who believe in you, accept that you are human and that mistakes will be made along the way, and that you will get to your desired destination - together, no matter what. Be very grateful of these people.They are rare and when you find one, don't let go of them - ever. Be blessed for the ones who get on at the worst stops when no one is there. Remember those people, they are special. Always hold them dear to your heart. Be very wary of people sneaking on at certain stops when things are going good and acting like they have been there for the whole ride. For they will be the first to depart. There will be ones who secretly try to get off the ride and there will be those that very publicly will jump off. Don't pay any heed to the defectors. Pay heed to the passengers that are still on the trip. They are the important ones. If someone tries to get back on the train - don't be angry or hold a grudge, let them. Just see where they are around the next hard turn. If they are buckled in - accept them. If they are pulling the hand rail alarm again - then let them off the train freely and waste no space in your head for them again, ever. There will be times that the train will be moving slow, at almost a crawls pace. Appreciate that you can take in the view. There will be times where the train is going so fast that everything is a blur. Enjoy the sense of speed in your life, as it is exhilarating but unsustainable. There will also be the chance that the train derails. If that does happen, it will hurt, a lot, for a long time. But there will be people who will appear out of no where who will get you back on track. Those will be the people that will matter most in your life. Love them forever. For you can never repay these people. The thing is, that even if you could repay them, they wouldn't accept it anyway. Just pay it forward. Eventually your train will get to its final stop and you will need to deboard.At that time you will realize that life is about the journey AND the destination. Know and have faith that at the end of your ride your train will have the right passengers on board and all the passengers that were on board at one time or another were there for a distinct purpose. Enjoy the ride.

I drop kindness pebbles in still water everyday, and I watch the effect they have on other people’s lives.My favorite kindness pebbles are compliments.Drop a compliment and watch the ripple affect that it has in your life.

Went to bed with a dream.Woke up with a purpose.

The fulfillment of your dreams lies within you and you alone.When you understand and accept this then nothing, or no one can deny you greatness.

When the zone calls, you must listen. You never know how long being in the zone lasts.It is a cardinal rule - you must take advantage of every second that you are in the zone.

I love my mother.My mother loves my dad.Those two facts are undeniable.I want my father to live.I want him to fight to live as long as he can.My mother wants to let him pass.She does not want him suffering anymore.She says that I am not there in the middle of the night at home, when he begs her to let him die.I say that he should not be taking the medicine that the doctor is prescribing, that it made Mike Tyson want to eat his opponents young.

There is a scene in one of the Rocky movies where after the match Apollo Creed and Rocky are waiting for the scoring of their brawl all beat up and battered, obviously both fighters gave all they had to win, and Apollo Creed says to Rocky - "Your not getting a rematch" and Rocky says "I don't want one".I love that scene. That's when you know that you left no doubt - that your opponent, win or lose, never wants to compete against you ever again. That's fighting.

There will never be "the right time" in your life to do a great thing. You must create that time and greatness will follow.

Whose team are you on?” I ask him.   “I don’t follow you – what do you mean whose team am I on?” he asks.   “I mean, you want your son back and there are forces in this world that want to take him from you. There is a battle going on. Sides have been taken, John’s team is his family and the other team is everything that you don’t want for your son. Walking away is the exact thing that the other side wants. Instead of walking away, you need to fight.”   I add: “Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be and he will become what he should be.

If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we would be happy with more?

Sometimes life is your opponent and just showing up is a victory.

Just do the next right thing.Then repeat indefinitely.

I am noticing a big difference in the way the hospital workers are looking at me as I approach Jess’s room.The look of sincere sympathy that used to be on their faces when they made eye contact with me is gone.It has been replaced by shear helplessness as they quickly walk past me with their heads tilted down and to the right.I feel like Bud Fox walking into his office with the Securities and Exchange Commission awaiting him.

If you had one last breath - what would you say?If you had one hour to use your limbs before you would lose the use of them forever - would you sit there on the coach?If you knew that you wouldn't see tomorrow who would you make amends with?If you knew you had only an hour left on this earth - what would be so pressing that you just had to do it, say it, or see it?Well there is something that I can guarantee - that one day you will have one day, one hour and one breath left.Just make sure that before that day that you have said, done and experienced everything that you dream of doing now.Do it now - that is what today is for.So pick up the phone and call an old friend that you have fallen out of touch with.Get out and run a mile and use your body and sweat.Seek out someone in your life to say your sorry to. Seek someone In your life that you need to thank. Seek someone in your life that you need to express your feelings of love to.Then when that day comes you will be ok with it all.

This holiday season I learned the vue if presence over presents.

The best thing you can say to someone going through a tragic loss is not that"It's going to be alright"It is:"Hold on tight because this is going to hurt like hell".

I know the answer to improving Jess's condition doesn't lay in tears the answer is in sweat.

There is an open circle.” This mantra is what my high school coaches would say to me during wrestling practice when they knew that I was physically exhausted and was about to rest for a moment. There was an open circle on the wrestling mat, and if I was interested I could get out there and do more.“There is an open circle.” Meaning there is still more that you could do. Don’t rest now; this is where the difference is made. To work when you are mentally and physically exhausted gets you to the next level.“There is an open circle.

There is a very good organization called "Make a Wish Foundation" that helps make a dying child's wishes come true. People go out of their way and work together to create an unbelievable lasting memory for a deserving person. What just dawned on me was:Why do we wait until someone is dying in order to do that?We have the opportunity to do this everyday for many, many, many people over our lifetime. It doesn't have to be a really big wish, small wishes add up fast.Imagine how much better the world would be if we all granted each other small wishes that came true every day. Find someone today and implement the "Make a Wish" concept in your life.Watch what happens.

I guarantee that tomorrow there will be something that will happen, that has never happened before.That is something to look forward too.And the best part of tomorrow is that there is another one just a day later.

We spend 8 hours a day, for 10 months a year, for nearly 17 years sending our kids to school to prepare them for life. In all of that time there is never a course in overcoming adversity, goal setting, sacrifice, perseverance, teammates, or family. I guess that's what wrestling is for.