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Voltar

I can't believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I'm the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.

em Lockpick Pornography
funny kidnapping

There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on the shelf. "I can't put my finger on why exactly, but it doesn't seem right for a couple of young ladies to be out there in the middle of the night, obsessing over their telescopes.

em Bible Camp Bloodbath
humorous

Wait," I say. "Aren't soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a girl? What if he's a fixer upper? What if he has an STD?

em It's Too Late to Say I'm Sorry
sad soulmates perfect

Having all the answers just means you've been asking boring questions.

knowledge humility uncertainty

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw.

em A Softer World: Truth and Beauty Bombs
optimism perspective pessimism

I think it would be cool if we wore suits while we committed these violent acts of retribution. Not fancy suits. No. Cheap suits that we won't mind ruining. Then if we're caught by the police, well, think how amazing we'll look! All bloody and torn and grizzled.Plus, suits look official. They would add an air of credibility to our campaign of blood drenched disproportionate responses.

em We all got it coming
humor violence

I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of himself into the comic. I love the silliness too, the dancing Snoopy strips. The little boy Rerun drawing "basement" comics about Tarzan fighting Daffy Duck in a helicopter. Those are the bits that keep me reading. The funny parts! The fun parts. The silly bits that don't make any sense. And when I get to the sad lonely Peppermint Patty standing in a field wondering why nobody shook hands and said "good game," well, it works because that's not all she was. I try to think that way about everything. That's the kind of person I want to be.

em We all got it coming
life humor dark peanuts

She needs you, Dad," Julia says. "She has unfinished business in this world.""What is the matter with you?" Charlie asks his daughter. "Any sane person would have told me to go to the doctor. I'm seeing a headless apparition every day. Maybe my medications are conflicting. You should see the list of side effects on this stuff.

em One Bloody Thing After Another
humor ghosts

I break into heterosexual houses so I can masturbate in their heterosexual kitchens

em Lockpick Pornography
lgbt heteronormativity

We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn't race for a hurricane or a burning building. I'd rather die terrified than live forever.

love disaster living-life

Kissing girls is easy, like breaking windows.

em One Bloody Thing After Another
kissing

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