Last time I was on the welcome Wagon, I was holding some guy by the balls for 15 minutes while the inspector explained why should leave (Birmingham) and go home... It were really painful.I bet it was.'Yeah I got terrible cramp in me fingers, but he were very attentive.

She had a face that had had lived a thousand stories and none with a happy ending.

Oh sod me, Sir, not another bloody Paddy. Even a Brummie is better than another Paddy.