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As for learning to wear high heels, no need to worry. I've got no tolerance for those dreadful things. If God wanted us girls tottering around like a bunch of drunken sailors, we'd have been born wearing stilts!

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

I have certainly heard of the Subtle Art of Shutting Up, but I can't say I've practiced it all that much. I greatly prefer the underappreciated genius of Speaking My Mind. I figure if someone doesn't like what I have to say, they shouldn't put their ears in close proximity to my mouth.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

What's all this nonsense about odd vision and not fitting in? There are plenty worse things in this world than not fitting in--like fitting in way too much. You strike me as a real original, Izzy Malone, in a world that loves carbon copies. If you think you beautified something, I believe you. I've never understood why folks love safe, neutral colors so much. Colors are what make this world worth living in.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

Sometimes I think teachers like Ms. Harmer view creativity as something dirty and slightly embarrassing, and would prefer to turn kids into people who color inside the lines.Generally speaking, I don't care much for lines.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

P.S. Please don't call me Isabella. That name belongs to a really pretty girl who never wrecks her clothes and who never gets dirt under her fingernails. That's definitely not me. My name is Izzy.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

Your mother would have more luck winning her election than teaching you how to be charming. Izzy Malone, going to charm school! Are you going to walk across the room with a book stuck on your head?""No, it's not like that at all," I said as he doubled over with laughter. "And I really don't see what's so funny.""It's just that"--he gasped--"it would be like teaching a hippo to wear high heels!

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

Words are a weapon, and rotten kids like Tyler Jones get a free pass when it comes to using them because the marks they leave are invisible. Why don't more adults realize that?

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

Turns out, most girls would rather put on lip gloss than play with sand toads.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

The bracelet and the first charm appeared the day I punched Austin Jackson in the nose. I didn't mean to slug him. His face just got in my way. It was a bruising end to a disastrous first month in middle school.

em The Charming Life of Izzy Malone
humor contemporary coming-of-age middle-grade mid-grade

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