Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.

I'm tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

I think success has no rules but you can learn a great deal from failure.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want an adorable pancreas?

If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism does he write "I had a fun time"? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing.