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You want them to give Batman counselling sessions?""It's genius. Just make Bruce Wayne get over his shit, then, presto, no more Batman. The baddies win by default.

in How to Kill Friends and Implicate People
humour batman

Then I think, fuck it, this bit of floor looks nice.

in Ways to Die in Glasgow
humour

I wanted to make at least an effort to impress, so I found my best suit, a Primark special that looked like it had been ironed by a blind man

in Ways to Die in Glasgow
humour sam-ireland

No, he didn’t come to me for a gun. I only said that because of you, thought maybe you’d want one, with being shot and everything.’ ‘Why the fuck would I want a gun? Would you ask a man who’s just been bitten by a shark if he wants to buy a shark?

in Ways to Die in Glasgow
humour guns crime

We ran both the courier service and a detective agency from the same office, and had phone apps for both. Basically, we're Uber for parcels and mysteries.

in How to Kill Friends and Implicate People
humour detectives uber
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