If there's one thing I know about women, it's that they have vaginas.

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

No man wants his daughter to be the kind of girl whom he liked in high school.

I try not to let other people's problems problem me.

I guess we all travel through life in a haze of sorts. A fog. The people we only meet in the fog we allow ourselves to lose because it’s not our fault. It’s the fog’s. The people we latch onto—they become our friends. It was my friendship with Ethan that took me out of the fog.

I love animals, especially with barbeque sauce.

Later film shoots’ casting calls would advertise that they’re “fun shoots” and a “good way to get exposure”—but working in entertainment is not entertaining, even though it is not what’s traditionally thought of as “work.” You know what’s fun, indie filmmakers? Being paid for your time.

Life.... It's better than the alternative.

You have to think if we've been visited by extraterrestrial life, it was like a zookeeper walking into the chimp enclosure: He looks around, takes some pictures, then leaves without interacting significantly with the environment. Meanwhile the chimps have no idea what the fuck just happened.

The truth is like sunlight: It causes cancer.

[Truman] didn’t want to fight the guy, whatever he was—alien, vampyr or douchebag.

I love Las Vegas because it's the one city less classy than Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is a city made up of refugees from better cities.

That's crazier than a boatload of prostitutes!