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  3. J. Cornell Michel
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I like living in my head because in there, everyone is kind and innocent. Once you start integrating yourself into the world, you realize that people are nasty, mean creatures. They're worse than zombies. People try to crush your soul and destroy your happiness, but zombies just want to have a little nibble of your brain.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
reality happiness people living live humanity human-nature realization human kindness craziness crazy humans happy world brain innocence yourself head living-life kind apocalypse mental-illness mental-health innocent zombie mean brains zombies like nasty creatures zombie-apocalypse nibbling apocalyptic post-apocalyptic realize integration integrating little-nibble mean-people nasty-people nibble zompoc

The pretty ones are usually unhappy. They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else's hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far superior, because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
happiness ordinary beauty beautiful control help helping depression happy goals depressing crush helping-others achievement unhappy expect expectations goal hard-work unhappiness apocalypse achieve pretty zombie depressed zombies superiority zombie-apocalypse apocalyptic work-hard ordinary-people crushed enamored ordinariness ordinary-looking ordinary-looks pretty-girls pretty-people superior

I've never really had time for romantic relationships. I have much more important things to worry about, like saving the world from zombies.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
relationships romance romantic relationship worry worrying important importance saving-the-world apocalypse worries zombie zombies zombie-apocalypse apocalyptic zompoc worried save-the-world saving-the-planet

They all call me "Excuse me," even though my nametag clearly says "Jordan." It's like people don't actually exist while they're working. Workers are just tools who aren't supposed to have feelings or personalities. You don't become human until your shift is over. Until then, we're all just zombies. We're dead to the world: infected people who need to be avoided, unless, of course, someone needs to know where the paintbrushes are located.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
people work humanity need human-nature feeling human existence feelings dead name humans over world personality feels personalities names working feel works exist tools work-ethic zombie zombies avoid zombie-apocalypse sales jordan zompoc infection tool infectious located infected dead-people shift location people-suck supposed-to salesman salesmen paint-brush excuse-me avoided dead-to-the-world infected-people infectious-diseases name-tag nametag paintbrushes until-then

It's more useful to have someone fear you than respect you.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
fear respect important someone use fearful usefulness apocalypse zombie zombies useful somebody zombie-apocalypse apocalyptic zompoc

You can't take highways during the apocalypse, because they'll be packed with panicky people.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
people road apocalypse cars highway road-trip roads panic zombie automobile car zombies zombie-apocalypse apocalyptic post-apocalyptic zompoc freeways highways vehicle panic-stricken panicked panicky vehicles freeway auto autos apocalipse zombies-life zombies-are-people-too zombies-hope

If I could make one wish, I wouldn't ask for world peace. I'd wish for a real zombie apocalypse. I'll take Romero zombies any day over this counterfeit harmony bullshit.

em Zombie Zeitgeist
humor zombies

Everyone should be comfy during the apocalypse.

em Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
humor apocalypse

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