I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.

I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.

Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.

We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I’d thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over.

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.

I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.

I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me.Survival strategies for the 21st century.