Screw sharks a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.

... keeping her wild-honey-and-chamomile-soaked hair from falling into her oatmeal-and-yogurt face mask

You should totally get implants," she said admiringly in the mirror. I shake my head. "I don't yet know what I'm going to do with my life, Diane. But I'm hoping being shaped like a barbell could only be a hindrance.