The irony of what we define as a mistake can and will sometimes return to you as a redefined destiny that life sends your way without any of your own free will and choice in what happens. It just happens. Something in me changed in that one tell-tale moment. And for some strange reason, I knew there wasn’t a way of going back.
Ames clucked his tongue, “You know, not all of us are so evil minded. You’ve just met the wrong ones.” He meant guys. “You’re all the same.” I should know.“Not all of us,” he said too soft but I heard. “But judgment before proven can eat one up with anger. Sometimes you just have to take a chance. Trust someone.
Sometimes being vulnerable as a child is not knowing what lies ahead. We think our choices will make a huge difference in our lives because our parents and other elders spend so much time making sure we think before we act and make our minds up about what we want to be “when we grow up”. Some are already at that stage early on, some are not. We learn the ways of the world all in good time, but being vulnerable is to be human. We never stop.
My friend Wicker once said to be careful what and how you say what you’re really thinking to a woman. After much screwing up in that department with Emma, I’ve learned it’s not what you should hide, but what you say that makes her react the way she does. If I am unable to make myself clear, as I so often do, it’s more likely going to go to pot if I try to explain how I really feel. Instead, I rework in my brain what she needs to hear. I don’t always nail it, but I’m getting better at it. And it’s always the truth even if it isn’t how I see it.Is it deceiving? No. It’s being considerate and aware that she is an emotional creature, and that for some crazy reason, craves my attention. I love to make her happy. My jumbled up mess of a mind isn’t important in the long run if it just confuses her. So I chose words carefully. When something goes right, I use it over and over again. -Ames