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Voltar

:I am Topaz,: the unicorn on the hill haughtily announced, :and this is my vale.: :I was not aware unicorns could own vales,: Wareska linked. The unicorn stiffened, and even from this distance, Wareska could see her bright, golden eyes narrow dangerously. :Now you know,: she said with quiet menace.

em The Seaglass Stair
humor funny unicorn fantasy-fiction

Shadowmane sighed as well. :We had better do what this Topaz commands. Unicorns are jerks when they don’t get their way.:

em The Seaglass Stair
humor funny fantasy-fiction

I know nothing of magick,” the naked man said to the raven, “except what you told me.” He laughed sadly. “And I barely remember that. I tend to drift off when you ramble.

em The Seaglass Stair
humor funny fantasy-fiction

I’m a dot in the grand scheme of things. I don’t matter, not even to the other dots.

humor spirituality humorous authors

You said the d-word,” Owllwin said regretfully. “I didn’t think you would, or I woulda warned ya.”“ . . . the d-word?” Cricket repeated in confusion.“Yeah . . .” Owllwin paused as if he was glancing around, then he whispered through the wall, “Dragon.” Cricket blinked. “Why can’t I say that?

em The Infinite Athenaeum
friendship humor epic-fantasy

Owllwin was easiest the most contrary person Cricket had ever known. He was arrogant but humble, cowardly but brave, foolish but wise. He was funny, but sometimes she caught him crying when he was off on his own. It were as if he pushed himself to be a better person in spite of himself, in spite of his own failings, and Cricket secretly admired the fact: not many people were willing to admit they had faults in the first place.

em The Infinite Athenaeum
friendship friendship-and-love epic-fantasy

Yet while Owllwin was arrogant, he was also humble enough to admit when he had made a mistake. Perhaps it was his sheer clumsiness that kept him so humble: the first time he spoke to Cricket was in the great dining hall, and he brought down six tables five minutes after.

em The Infinite Athenaeum
friendship humor epic-fantasy clumsy

Rigg laughed softly at Lisa’s deadpan joke, but she halted when she noticed the back of Lisa’s neck: the factory number had been shaved away, roughly and angrily. Frowning in confusion, Rigg gently rubbed her fingers over the scrape, and Lisa flinched as if it hurt.“If someone saw this, you could be scrapped,” Rigg said anxiously. “I know,” was the soft reply. “I believe freedom is worth that risk.

em The Thieves of Nottica
freedom sentience robot

Morganith snorted and didn’t lower her weapon. “One girl can cause alotta trouble, Hari. You and I are proofa that.

em The Thieves of Nottica
humor women danger

Then perhaps you don’t need it. I think the scar gives you character, even if it does mar those pretty tattoos. Would make for great tavern stories if you didn’t cover it.” Neferre laughed flatly and stuck her hands in her pockets. “There’s nothing great about getting mugged, Ziro.” Ziro laughed, her deep voice jiggling her second chin. “Oh, aye. But no one said you had to tell the truth now, did they?

em Time's Arrow
humor elves fantasy humorous-quotes fantasy-fiction

Return me safely to my home,” the princess said, “and I shall reward you with your weight in eggs.” Olorun snorted derisively. “You’re joking, right?” The woman’s eyes flitted in embarrassment. “Now wait a minute,” said Helianthus. “We’re talkin’ eggs here. What sort of eggs? Ostrich eggs?” Neferre made an impatient noise. “Hel! She doesn’t have any eggs! Unless they’re hidden in a very . . . delicate place.” Neferre grinned at the princess. “Tell me your eggs are hidden where I think they’re hidden.

em Time's Arrow
humor elves fantasy princess humorous-quotes fantasy-fiction princesses

Kimaria smirked and placed her hands behind her back. “Come now. It doesn’t have to come to that. Violence is so beneath us.” “No, it isn’t,” said Helianthus at once.“Well . . . it is beneath me,” the high queen said and touched a hand to her chest. “Unlike you, I am civilized. I wear shoes and I have a last name.” They watched as she eased into a chair. She crossed one leg over the other, folded her arms, and regarded them calmly. “Aren’t you the least bit curious as to how I snatched the famed Nineveh Atvaris from our dark past? You can’t be that boring.

em Time's Arrow
humor elves fantasy dragons villian fantasy-fiction humourous-quotes

Verne frowned. “Calm down. Don’t exert yourself in your condition.” Salen looked at Verne in amazement. “Don’t exert --! My dear woman, we are all about to die! I don’t think it damn well matters if I shit my pants at this point --

em Time's Arrow
humor fantasy fantasy-fiction

Helianthus snorted. “Olorun is like his mother: he will only change as the face of a rock changes. But . . . I think he missed you.

em Time's Arrow
humor fantasy fantasy-fiction

My child will bear those scars forever,” Tilv said angrily. “And if he isn’t a fool, perhaps your child will learn from them,” Neferre returned calmly.

em Time's Arrow
elves fantasy fantasy-fiction

Neferre swallowed hard. “The elder used to tell stories of dark places in dark times,” she said, picking the needle through with black nails, “when the winters were endless and the sun fell cold across the land. When beasts far worse than the crags prowled the shadows. And there were no humans. Only elvkarin and the night. We knew the bitter sting of winter’s breath and it never ended as it ends now. We called it Isaria on Evile. A Time of Darkness.

em Time's Arrow
elves fantasy fantasy-fiction

Why does everything want to eat children?!”Neferre smiled. “Because you taste like candy. Stinky socks would mask your delicious scent from the aziza. We must get you stinky socks. So they do not eat you.”“That’s not much of a bedtime story! You really haven’t done this before!

em Time's Arrow
humor elves fantasy fantasy-fiction

:No,: Wareska said at once, :we should go back.: She heard the horse laugh softly into her mind. :Wareska,: he said in amusement, :it is not like you to ever look back.::I look back when sense dictates.::It is hard for horses to look back. We don’t really have shoulders. I guess we look back over our butt?:

em The Seaglass Stair
humor fantasy horse

:The way to the Seaglass Stair will be long and arduous. There will be those who wish to stop you. They will kill you to keep you from succeeding.: :Why? That’s insane.: :As if insanity were some fabrication, some dark tale Hemfra told you one night when you were a child and refused to sleep. There will always be resistance to anything and everything, defying all logic, all natural sense of self-preservation. There will be those who wish for you to simply let the world fade away. It is the way of humans to be illogical for the sake of personal conviction and made up nonsense.:

em The Seaglass Stair
fantasy horse fantasy-fiction

As if the president gives a crap about demons and what they go through just because her father’s got horns?” Morganith returned. “She never opens her coward mouth about the quiet oppression the demons -- your people -- face every single day --!” “Our people,” Hari calmly corrected. “No,” said Morganith at once. “Halflings have never been anyone’s people.

em The Thieves of Nottica
fantasy demons steampunk

:Do you trust me?: Wareska quietly linked.:To stay alive? No. You and the monster will get lost in riddles and philosophizing. Then you will make some grand, heroic gesture, poorly thought-out and overestimating your own strength, and when the creature has roasted you alive, I will be the one sweeping up the ashes – figuratively speaking, of course. Lest we forget, I do not have hands.:

em The Seaglass Stair
humor fantasy horse

Yes. The elven magi are very old, but not old enough to remember that all of this has happened before.” Parmida frowned. “Just how old are you?”“I am older than a thousand of your suns,” the unicorn answered.“. . . and that means?

em Tales of Talithia
humor fantasy unicorns

Is there n-nothing you can do?” Parmida asked, wiping her tears away with the heel of her hand. The unicorn laughed softly. “She asks for a boon after shooting me in the ass.

em Tales of Talithia
humor fantasy unicorn gay-romance lesbian-fiction gay-romance-erotica

You must be a rich human,” went on Holonie. “You could have come here with bodyguards, dogs, something. But you came here alone. Very risky. Nearly insane. Completely stupid.”Elbryn laughed his flat, humorless laugh. “Thanks?

em Tales of Talithia
humor elves fantasy

We live in a world where it’s feasible that a tiny hobbit can save an entire world, but not a feminine woman. And god help her if she’s a woman of color, because that’s given as even more inconceivable.

feminism

We have books and films where mice and hobbits and dwarves and children can save the world, and that's perfectly acceptable. But a 120lb woman save the galaxy? YOU GO TOO FAR, SIR.

feminism

Yeah, I’m listenin’,” Morganith answered, “and Arda once told me pregnant Alteri women can see what might come to pass, not what will come to pass. What they see is just what people chose to do of their own shitty free will, not what they were forced to do by some gods.

em The Thieves of Nottica
philosophy fate destiny

Halt! We are attempting an arrest!”“Yeah, we’re aware,” Quinn muttered under her breath.

em The Harvest
humor humorous science-fiction robots

Alright. So how are we getting down there? Can you turn invisible or something?”“What do I look like? A magician?”“Well, can you fight?”“Can you?”“No,” said Thalcu with a sad laugh. “Zonbiri women aren’t allowed to handle anything bigger than a butter knife. Not legally, anyway. Besides, I could never shoot a gun. My hands are used to pushing remote control buttons, pounding game controllers . . . picking the good chips from the bag.

em The Harvest
humor humorous science-fiction aliens science-fiction-romance

But what do you care about Qorlec?” went on Dr. Zorgone. “I heard you escaped Alsa Sif V, and immediately upon your departure,” he frowned, “you set coordinates for Earth?” He laughed softly, nastily, and Quinn felt anger shiver through her to see the twinkling mockery in his eyes. “What would your people think to know that, I wonder?” continued Dr. Zorgone, tilting his head. “The first place you ran to wasn’t Qorlec, wasn’t the ancient home of your ‘mighty’ ancestors, but the polluted shit-ball of ape people? The true home of the true empress is Earth.” His eyes danced over her, searching, hungry. “You speak Roknal and English fluently, but I bet you don’t know a damn lick of Aviye. The entirian princess isn’t even entirian --”“What do you want?” Quinn said abruptly.“What do I want?” repeated Dr. Zorgone, rolling his eyes to the starry sky. “Let’s see . . . What do I want? I always wanted an indoor pool.”Quinn’s lips tightened.

em The Harvest
humor humorous science-fiction villains

There’s no point running anyway. In t-minus ten minutes, you will have no where to run to.”Quinn tensed at the triumphant look in his eyes. “. . .what have you done?”“I have entered launch codes in the computer. In exactly ten minutes, Alpha Star 9 will be a black stain in the middle of Utah.”Quinn’s lips part in shock.“Yes,” said. Dr. Zorgone in amusement. “Dramatic gasp!

em The Harvest
humor humorous science-fiction villains villains-and-heroes

You start wondering if you deserved those high reviews on your books or if people just pitied you and went “Poor sod. Here’s a five star review so you don’t hang yourself in the garage.

writers writers-on-writing

I never thought I’d ever leave Zerc. But after knowing Cricket, it occurred to me that I had no reason to stay. I had no family, no friends aside from her. I never even spoke to Enkai until she brought us together. It was she who first inspired me to dream of actually seeing those worlds I spent my every waking moment reading about. Her and her wild heart, her laughing spirit, so bright in her eyes whenever she spoke of her travels and all the wondrous places she had seen. When I was a boy, I envied her for her adventures. When I became a man, I only pitied her.

em The Infinite Athenaeum
adventure epic-fantasy

Varzo looked with shame at her boots. “Look, I wasn’t serious, alright? It was just a thought.”Mercy shook her head. “Shitty thoughts become shitty actions, kid. You really gone your entire life without recognizing there's ah link between the two?

em The Harvest
hatred racism science-fiction aliens

Zita shrugged. “I wouldn’t hold it against ya, kid. You’re asking if you should choose war or love. Hate is easy, everybody does it. But most people go their entire lives without really loving. Miora’s gonna tell you that you can’t love her because she’s zonbiri, but if it’s really love . . . you won’t be able to help yourself.” Zita smiled and went out.

em The Harvest
love hatred science-fiction science-fiction-romance

Quinn dropped her hand and avoided Thalcu’s eye. “I . . . I don’t want to kill you,” she said to the floor. “Not if I could save you.”The woman smiled gently at Quinn, her lips curling behind her oxygen mask. “I will not really die,” she said, drawing Quinn’s surprised gaze. She looked at Quinn contently a moment and went on, “Do you know how worlds are born? From the first breath of a star. We are made of starlight. We can not bear to look into the sun, into the thing that birthed us, anymore than we can bear to look upon our parents in the throes of passion. It is our point of origin, and to it, we all must return.

em The Harvest
death birth afterlife science-fiction aliens

Yeah!” Quinn said defiantly. “And I’m about to destroy your sick little plan here! And when I’m done doing that, I’ll tell the humans how your people are planning to betray them --!”“As if that will make much difference,” said the general calmly. “Humans can’t agree on how to run individual countries, let alone their entire planet. When the harvest begins, they won’t stand a chance against us. I’ve already given Dr. Zorgone permission to execute his plans for abduction. He has also been given strict orders to return you to me alive. Both of you. You must simply walk outside. There is nothing to fear.”“Yeah, I bet,” Quinn muttered sarcastically.

em The Harvest
science-fiction aliens villains alien-abduction

Varzo shrugged. “My people have given them good reason to be biased. The last time you were open and trusting . . . we invaded,” she said unhappily. “Yeah,” muttered the boy just as unhappily. “But while there is good reason for caution, there is never a good reason for hatred, hmm?” He glanced at Varzo and lifted his brows meaningfully.

em The Harvest
hate wisdom hatred racism science-fiction aliens

He stood over her for a time, simply looking at her as he willed himself to climb into bed, and he knew doing so would make it utterly impossible to hate her. She looked so innocent and vulnerable as she dreamt, and it was difficult to hate someone once you had seen them sleeping.

em The Suns of Anarchy
romance science-fiction

Drop. Your weapon. And. Come quietly,” said a robotic voice. “Kiss. My ass,” said Zita, mocking the robot’s tone.

em Project Mothership
humor science-fiction robots

My people have known of your people for thousands of years,” went on the alien, looking at me with those black eyes that glittered like the night sky. “We have watched you and studied you and never did we attempt contact. Why? Because we would be treated with the same hatred and violence you have shown your own people – that is, until we had properly assimilated into the sprawling patchwork quilt of your culture. To your people, ‘same’ has always meant good and ‘different’ has always meant evil. . . . can you really blame my people for maintaining a safe distance?”“But thousands – millions drowned!” I insisted.

em Qorth
science-fiction alien

I was sitting on the couch in the living room, pouring through an old sci-fi novel I’d found in one of the ruins, and I could hear the water bubbling as he cooked. The spaghetti smelled good, but I knew he’d probably put something crazy in it like popcorn or marshmallows, so I ignored my rumbling belly.

em Qorth
humor science-fiction humorous-quotes alien

Incase the title was misleading, this is the story of Qorth. He was an alien, but he was more normal, more boring, more goofy, and more ho-hum than any human I’d ever known . . . to the point that I sometimes wonder if he was really even an alien. To be fair, he did have “magical” otherworldly powers and some weird traits, like pointed ears. It rained when he was sad. His eyes were solid black, which really creeped me out in the beginning but, eh, I got used to it. He had weird tastes in food, like he would put ketchup on pancakes, and animals were sock puppets to him. The night I found him, it was the animals who led me to him.

em Qorth
humor science-fiction alien science-fiction-romance

Some of them are mech,” said Zita, nimbly picking her high heels through the steaming pools of red goo and severed, wriggling limbs. She was splattered with blood and grinning as she came to them, but she frowned to see the utter bafflement on Rose’s face. “Hey, snap out of it. Haven’t you seen mech before?” She kicked a man’s severed head, and Rose gasped when his face slid off, revealing a skull of gleaming silver metal.Rose shook her head. “Mech are illegal. The government s-said they feared a robot war!” she insisted, turning to follow as Zita limped past her.Zita laughed dryly, folding up her rifle and tucking it under her skirt. “Is it so hard to imagine your government lied? Governments tend to do that.

em Project Mothership
humor science-fiction robots science-fiction-romance

I’m surprised you haven’t come to hate humans,” Rose said with hesitation. “I mean, given all that happened to you here. I’m pretty sure assimilating wasn’t easy either. You have a sort of foreign look for an American, and Americans are notorious for their xenophobia.”Zita laughed softly. “Me? Hate humans?” She darkly shook her head. “I fought in the Midnight War for thirty years, Rosie. I know what happens when people let hate make decisions for them.

em Project Mothership
wisdom science-fiction aliens science-fiction-romance

He knew in that moment that falling in love with her would destroy him, and so he decided at once that he would do his damnedest to despise her.

em The Suns of Anarchy
love hate humor unrequited-love unrequited-love-humor

You can always tell who a writer subconsciously/consciously dislikes/hates/discriminates against in real life based on who they don't write about more than who they do.

hate discrimination

Spent my whole life,” Morganith went on, staring miserably into her drink, “thinkin’ that out there somewhere was ah woman who would love me incredibly and I would love her incredibly. Like ah fire consumin’ the very air. Then I meet her, and she leaves me.” Morganith snapped her fingers lazily. “Just like that.

em The Thieves of Nottica
love romance despair lbgt

I made a noise of disgust, and I think I would have stormed out if I knew how to open the door.

em Qorth
humor humorous-quotes funny-quotes

The first time I saw Cricket, I loved her. Little did I know that skinny, goofy girl would one day grow up to be a great dragon slayer. I would have pegged her for a shoemaker.

em The Infinite Athenaeum
humor dragons epic-fantasy dragonslayer

Yes,” Lisa said with the usual blank honestly. She frowned. “Was that a sincere question? Or a scolding rhetorical question akin to Harilotecca’s speech patterns?

em The Thieves of Nottica
humor sci-fi robots

For elves, sex was two souls finding each other in the dark.

em Tales of Talithia
romance elves fantasy-fiction

Right now, all she knew was that she had the potential to love him greatly and fiercely, and she wanted to do so and nothing else very much and for many years.

em Tales of Talithia
love romance fantasy-fiction

Miriva refused to believe that human decency should be a privilege given only to a small few, and when she complained to her mother that she did not want to be a broodmare for the sake of alliances between the villages, her mother slapped her and sent her to the fields to pick mehazi beans

em Tales of Talithia
wisdom fantasy-fiction

Slowly rising from the fire, she went down to the shore, and not wanting to frighten him off again, she squatted on a rock above the water, looking down at him where he sat on the wet sand with his long blue-green tail disappearing into the lapping waves. He shyly offered the bag up to her, which had been woven of seaweed, and she took it with a whispered thanks and opened it, staring in delight and surprise at the sheer amount of oysters that were inside. The siren made a trilling noise and whispered, “I-I hope it is well enough. I do not know what land women eat.

em Tales of Talithia
romance fantasy-fiction mermaid-romance

She snuggled close, nuzzling her hair beneath his chin. “Never leave me,” she whispered back. The siren chuckled sadly, the sound vibrating up through his chest and pleasantly against her ear. “But I must return to the sea every now and then or I will die.” He sighed. “Some part of me believes it would be a good death.

em Tales of Talithia
romance fantasy-fiction mermaid-romance

Parmida had never believed in unicorns, not until a stroll through the forests of Sunneth Dol convinced her otherwise. She was a young human woman living in a world where magick was dead and magickal creatures a myth. Elves and fae and magickal beasts had long ago shed their skin and left their bones. It was a world where humans alone now existed, walking in the dark of night, always looking over their shoulder for their inevitable extinction, as if nature were waiting to absorb them next back into her soil.

em Tales of Talithia
fantasy-fiction unicorns

Growing up learning of distant lands and their bloody histories, Wareska had quickly noticed how pointing to someone else as unquestionably worse was a widely common justification for many atrocities.

em The Seaglass Stair
wisdom fantasy-fiction

:Wait for me here?: :Until the moon crumbles into the sea,: Shadowmane whispered. Wareska laughed again. :Always so eloquently dramatic.:

em The Seaglass Stair
love fantasy-fiction

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