As I was wheeled into the operating room I pleaded withGod for one more day, one more week, one more month with her.

In that moment, I welcomed back the light and let go of the fear, the feelings of unworthiness, the past, the loss, the wallowing, the grief and the anger. I let go of the illusion of control in our losses, of our afflictions.

Some part of me broke in prayer that morning, and some part of me was reborn as I gave myself fully and completely to prayer and to God in that moment.

When we start rating each other’s lives and afflictions, we lose a bit of our humanity, compassion and perspective.

Why is it so easy to abandon ourselves, and why do we so easily fall into the illusion that this self-abandonment is the only way people will like us?