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  3. Aphrodite Matsakis
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Some survivors can be wary of most people, yet blinded by compassion toward fellow survivors or others who suffer — or who pretend to suffer, or exaggerate their sufferings, in order to take advantage of the survivor. Some survivors overidentify with other survivors, not realizing that even if someone was traumatized or suffers in a similar way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is honest. Being either overly suspicious or overly trusting can create problems with a partner who is able to judge the sincerity of others more realistically.

em Loving Someone with PTSD: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Connecting with Your Partner after Trauma
trust suffering compassion spouse distrust boundaries mental-illness survivors abuse-survivors ptsd survivors-of-abuse partner suspicious healthy-relationships trauma-survivors overidentification

Some of the experiences endured by human beings on this earth are virtually unbelievable.

em Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
abuse doubt disbelief trauma unbelievable post-traumatic-stress-disorder ptsd society-denial traumatic-experiences traumatized trauma-memories

However, if you do not believe your clients, they may sense your doubt and never fully trust you. As Bruce Goderez (1986), director of a PTSD inpatient unit says, "It is important for the clinician and counselor to be willing to be made a fool." In other words, it is better that you believe a client who is lying or distorting the truth than to disbelieve a hurting trauma survivor who may never seek help again if your attitude is one of disbelief or disdain. Even if that client were to continue in therapy, they would never fully trust you.

em Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
lying doubt psychotherapy disbelief counseling ptsd posttraumatic-stress-disorder disclosure traumatized trauma-memories

As you may already know, post-traumatic stress disorder is extremely complex. Each client has a unique, perhaps virtually unbelievable, set of experiences, and an almost equally set of reactions to those experiences.

em Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
psychotherapy denial disbelief counseling therapy mental-health unbelievable abuse-survivors ptsd posttraumatic-stress-disorder society-denial traumatic-experiences trauma-survivors

In order to believe clients' accounts of trauma, you need to suspend any pre-conceived notions that you have about what is possible and impossible in human experience. As simple as they may sound, it may be difficult to do so.

em Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
denial disbelief trauma abuse-survivors post-traumatic-stress-disorder posttraumatic-stress-disorder society-denial traumatic-experiences traumatized

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