I had a dream about you last night... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.

I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine.

I had a dream about you last night.. You were balancing ten tiny footballs on your nose while dancing with a turquoise unicorn.

I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m's.

I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog.

I had a dream about you last night... You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater.

I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.

I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink.

I had a dream about you last night... You replaced all the people in your life with kittens. It felt more like a prediction of the future.

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch.

I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror.

Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under.

A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the answer is none, then your growth rate is probably pretty good… for the moment.

Together a brick and a blanket create the perfect metaphor for life. Will you be a brick and make something of your life, or be a blanket and sleep your life away?

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.