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  3. Alanea Alder
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Shower sex sucks," Meryn announced loudly.Elizabeth leaned forward dying to know what prompted that statement. "What happened?""Slippery surfaces and not the good kind, one." Meryn started ticking off reasons on her fingers. "Water not a natural lubricant, two. Height differences, three. And I got a freaking charley horse right when..." Aiden covered her mouth at that point.Ahh. So someone had fun and someone didn't. Poor Meryn.

em My Protector
humor sex

Aleks opened his mouth to reassure his friend when he heard something that chilled him to the bone.“Aleksander Aaron Arkadion! What in the hell is wrong with you! Why are you dragging that mangled corpse through town? You traumatized an entire first-grade class on a field trip to the town center,” Ma said, striding up to them pointing down to the body that Aleks still had a hold of.He looked down at the ankle he was holding.“Fuck my life.” Aleks looked behind his ma at the trail of blood heading back to the ice cream parlor.Liam laughed, his arms wrapped around his waist holding his sides.

em Fated for Forever
friends humor blood vampire corpse lion bear shifter

Do you always drink from a glass?" she finally exploded. Gavriel shook his head. "Over my lifetime, I have fed in nearly every way imaginable. Drinking from a glass is tame is comparison." Meryn started to grin. "Would you drink from a man?" Gavriel nodded. "Would you drink in a van?" she asked, her eyes dancing. "I don't see why not," he replied. Elizabeth stared as Meryn continued. "Would you drink from an actor?" Again, Gavriel nodded. Laughing, Elizabeth shook her head at Meryn. "Would you drink on a tractor?" Meryn could barely get the words out she was laughing so hard. Gavriel frowned. "Maybe from a farmer if the need were dire.

em My Protector
vampire paranormal-romance comedy dr-suess

Get your fang boner under control. Your freaking out my person

em My Guardian
humor paranormal-romance alanea-alder

They are my baby Keelans!

em My Guardian
paranormal-romance alanea-alder meryn

You can't adopt people like kittens! Aiden growled. 'I wouldn't know; someone wouldn't let me get a kitten', Meryn retorted. 'Fine, you can have a kitten, no people''Too late

em My Guardian
humor human paranormal-romance vampires shifters alanea-alder meryn

I've been wearing my super gown because someone won't let me go get maternity clothes because they are being a paranoid, drama bear

em My Guardian
humor paranormal-romance shifters alanea-alder

How do you poop? Where does it go? If you get more prestigious as you go down, aren't you shitting on the upper classes?

em My Guardian
humor paranormal-romance alanea-alder meryn

Can I ride you next time? You can be my battle cat! That would be so cool!

em My Guardian
paranormal-romance vampires witches shifters alanea-alder meryn

you don't have the luxury of whipping out your dicks and seeing who's bigger

em My Guardian
humor paranormal-romance alanea-alder meryn

This first time , my Sprite friend went for help, then Aiden went all shifter Hulk version and Loki'd the feral's ass. Whap, whap

em My Guardian
humor paranormal-romance alanea-alder

Don't blink. Don't even blink." she whispered."What in the hell are you talking about?" Aiden looked around trying to identify a hidden threat."You blink and you're dead." Meryn stared at the two large stone angels on either side of a heavy looking wooden door unblinking. Aiden's hand went to his sidearm."Meryn, that is just a statue.""But what if it isn't? I mean up until this week I didn't think paranormals existed and now you're all over the fucking place. I can't take the chance.

em My Commander
paranormal paranormal-romance doctor-who shifter bear-shifter weeping-angels

She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate posthaste.

em My Commander
humor mates paranormal-romance

Hello little one. Did you know you're on private property?""Really? I had no idea." Meryn fudged. He raised an eyebrow. "The ten foot fence right behind you didn't give it away?

em My Commander
romance humor funny paranormal-romance

Oh God, is this like Silence of the Lambs?" Tears flowed down her face. "I don't want to go down the hole! I won't put lotion on the skin! Look at me, you won't be able to wear my skin, I won't cover your huge ass!" She wailed.

em My Commander
romance humor funny paranormal-romance movie-reference

I enjoy my crazy, thank you very much. I noticed a long time ago that those who value normalcy to the point of making someone else feel like shit for being different were assholes. I stopped caring about what people thought of me after that.

em My Brother's Keeper
true personality personal-development

He’s a he. I mean he’s a guy. He’s your mate. Oh my God you’re gay!” Aleks exclaimed. Liam slapped himself on the forehead.

em Fated for Forever
romance humor vampire gay lion adult bear fox shifter

Aleks opened his mouth to reassure his friend when heheard something that chilled him to the bone.“Aleksander Aaron Arkadion! What in the hell is wrong with you! Why are you dragging that mangledcorpse through town? You traumatized an entire first-grade class on a field trip to the town center,” Ma said,striding up to them pointing down to the body that Aleks still had a hold of.He looked down at the ankle he was holding.“Fuck my life.” Aleks looked behind his ma at the trail of blood heading back to the ice cream parlor.Liam laughed, his arms wrapped around his waist holding his sides.

em Fated for Forever
humor blood vampire prince corpse lion bear fox shifter

Speaking of my things, you weren't actually using that darling little study were you?" sheasked sweetly.Her mate's eyes narrowed. "Why?""Because I am commandeering it for my closet.""Closet? My study is over three hundred square feet." His shocked expression was adorable."Good point. Do you use the library as well?"He stared unblinking. "Yes, actually I do.""Oh well. I'll need to call in a contractor to remodel the study into functional wardrobe.

em My Protector
girls humor fashion

Why is it that the Alpha females are crazy?"Meryn shrugged. "She made sense to me."Colton turned to Meryn. "You also set Aiden's car on fire when he ignored you."Amelia looked at Meryn. "Sounds reasonable."Meryn grinned. "I know, right?

em My Savior
humor crazy

Shoot faceless, white blobs. Roger that Menace, Gamma Kitten One over and out.

em My Savior
humor fighting shooting

What are these? They look like scars." Meryn glanced down and realized he was talking about her stretch marks. Had he never seen stretch marks before?”“Those are called stretch marks.""Stretch marks? How did you get them?" "Human females get them when we grow. If we grow too fast our skin rips apart and heals. It's a very painful process." Meryn lied through her teeth. There was no way she was going to discuss stretch marks after the most mind blowing sex of her life. Nope. Wasn't going to happen. Aiden's expression became reverent."Human females are amazing creatures, you endure so much pain yet are so fragile." He kissed each shiny line.I'm going to hell.

em My Commander
women hilarious stretch-marks

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