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Your wit never ceases to underwhelm me.

em Midnight Poison
funny wit insult badass burn rivalry diss jaeger leontes

Why did Nicky call me the Baby Killer?" Kiara sniffled. "Because she is a bitch," Leontes said. Jaeger gave him a chastising look. "She's dead." "Dying did not make her any less of a bitch," Leontes replied.

em Midnight Poison
funny dead kiara honest bitch badass blunt snarky jaeger leontes

Blake gave Selena a nudge "Remember what I taught you, itsy-bitsy-babe

romance ya paranormal fiction thriller demons-in-disguise

You’re sure? I thought I heard someone.”“Nope, not a soul,” Blake said. “Get it. Soul. Because we’re in a church.

funny paranormal-romance dead-at-deadnight team-blake

the cross had slipped back onto my chest. I unclasped it and after wrapping the chain around the metal, tucked it into my bra

funny paranormal-romance demons-at-deadnight

I tucked the feather into my bra, then glanced up at the sudden heavy silence. “What?”Blake grinned. “What else you got in there? Can I see?”“Shut up, Blake!” said the rest of the boys.

funny paranormal-romance dead-at-deadnight shut-up-blake

We could finally put our seduction tactics to good use.” He danced around twirling a fire poker. “Me, me, me. I’ll do it. I’m so up for personal bodyguard boyfriend. This job has my name written all over it!”My immediate “No!” was echoed by the rest of the boys.“Babe.” Blake walked towards me with open arms. “It’ll be fun!”I scooted over the back of the couch.“Down boy.” Ayden shoved him off course.I shrugged and tried to look disappointed at Blake’s wounded expression. “You’re just too much man for me.”He nodded knowingly.

paranormal-romance team-blake demons-at-deadnight

I’ll take a shower.”“Want company?”“Enough, Blake.” Ayden stood and backhanded the big guy’s chest.“Just trying to do my Hexy Knight duty. How about we carpool tomorrow, babe? You could sit on my lap. I make a great seat belt.”“Shut up, Blake,” Ayden and I said in unison.

paranormal-romance team-blake demons-at-deadnight

Shouldn’t you be at your posts?” Jayden stepped up.Logan nodded.“Just talking about…girl stuff,” Tristan said.“Mascara,” Blake said.“What?” Tristan said.“Leaving.” Logan shoved the boys.Jayden leaned in. “There’s something the others wish to remain secret. But I think having the knowledge would be beneficial. You’re—”“Bait.” I didn’t bother to hide my grin.“Precisely, but don’t be alarmed because—” He jerked back. “You know?”“I do.”Jayden stared blankly, then patted my head. “Excellent.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-jayden

A whoosh and the lines of fire sucked back toward Ayden, flames disappearing into his hands. Back to normal.“Ayden’s the most visually effective,” Matthias said.A burning scent lingered but no damage to the “hottie” in front of me. I know, I know, but I couldn’t resist.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-ayden

He fanned his fingers and spider lines cracked the ice. Seconds later the tea boiled.“You control tea?”Jayden’s satisfied smile faltered. “No. I…I control water. The tea, the actual plant doesn’t change, however—” He caught my look and nodded. “Ohhh. You were being facetious.”“If that means joking, yes I was

em Demons at Deadnight
funny cute paranormal-romance team-jayden

Ayden and I clapped our hands over our ears when the shrieking started.“Yes. I can see that you’re enthused,” Jayden tried to speak over the girls’ squealing, “but you need—”Danica snatched the backstage passes from Jayden. “No way!”“Uh, yes. Way?” Jayden said.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-jayden

I shot him daggers. Along with swords, scythes, scalpels, shivs, shanks, stilettos, and any other sharp weapon I could think of that began with an “s.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance

Son of a—Rora?” Blake slid out of the crater he’d just made in the wall. “Crap. What are you doing here?” He saw my wrist. “Handcuffs? I definitely want that story.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-blake

A cool hand touched my arm. I jerked back. “Don’t! You’ll burn!”“I’m used to it.” Ayden’s brown eyes twinkled. “In fact, I’ve been told I’m smokin’.” He held out a hand, his voice soft. “By an incredible redhead who I wish, for once, knew she could trust me.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-ayden

This time, try to keep your hands to yourself,” Ayden whispered in my ear. “Your octopus routine could get a bit embarrassing with this crowd.”“Th—that’s not funny.”“Come on. It was a little funny. You’re smiling.”I buried my face in his chest so he couldn’t see he was right.“Now,” Blake said, “about those handcuffs. That’s just—”“Don’t say it,” Ayden warned.“Kinky.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-ayden-vs-team-blake

Aurora!” Dad came running out.“Over here.”“We’re going to head home.” Dad leaned against a post at the bottom of the steps. “Hey, guys. What’re you talking about?”I smiled. “Just…girl stuff.”“Tampons,” Blake blurted.My jaw dropped. Dad’s eyes went wide. “Well, that’s…very…uh…” He backed a few steps. Glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll just…um…Gemma!” And he was sprinting toward the building.“Blake!” we all snapped.“Sorry, I panicked.”“Aurora,” Ayden said. “You’d better—before your mom—”“Yep.” I raced down the steps. “Dad, he was kidding!

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance blake

Blake hung an arm on my shoulders. “Alone at last.”“I’m right here,” Logan said.“Maybe you shouldn’t be.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance team-blake-vs-team-logan

Blake dug a hand into our popcorn.Jayden leaned forward. “Aurora, perhaps you can reconcile our debate. Is Hitchcock horror or suspense?”“Suspense,” Tristan said.“Horror,” Logan countered.“You thought Sleepless in Seattle was horror,” Tristan said. “All that lovey-dovey stuff gave you nightmares.”“Sad but true,” Jayden confirmed.

em Demons at Deadnight
funny paranormal-romance hitchcock-debate

Ourhunters come from a diversified set of beliefs, but work together toward one goal. And we’re the bestat what we do.”“But you guys were at the church.”Jayden shrugged. “Father Bancroft is an area leader, so the church is our base, but elsewhere itcould be a synagogue, mosque, Buddhist temple. Any holy place will do. We fight demons, not eachother.

em Demons at Deadnight
religion humanity ignorance tips jaydin people-should-learn-from-this

When you are made to pay for such insolence, I shall revel in your ruin.

em Midnight Poison
vampires badass leontes

You worry too much." "Because you worry not enough.

em Midnight Poison
love worry adorable kiara motto catchphrase leontes

The front door slammed and Dad said, “Aurora, sure you aren’t expecting a package?”I leaned back to find him army-crawling under the window in the living room. Like all dads do. “Already told you no, Rambo.”“The new mailman is back.” Dad reached up and pulled the curtains closed before standing up and peeking out. “Won’t come to the door.”“M shot a tranquillizer dart at the last guy.” Mom gave a tired look at M who shrugged unapologetically. “The fact that there’s a new one willing to be on our sidewalk is a miracle. Don’t scare him off, Clyde.”Dad tried to block me when I went for the curtains. “He won’t let me sign for your package. Demanded you come out in person.”“I’ll get my tranq gun!” M made for her room.“Don’t you dare!” Mom chased her.I swished back the curtains to get a look at the petrifying postman. “I find his interest in my teenage daughter creepy,” Dad grumbled.Oh, he had no idea.

em Drop Dead Demons
hilarious divinicus-nex-chronicles drop-dead-demons laughed-my-butt-off

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