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  3. Adele Rose
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Quiet,” she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny fantasy-young-adult luna

I was just thinking that it would be nice if, for once in a while, life made things easier,” I told him, feeling annoyed. “Why does life have to throw impossible tasks at us all the time for crying out loud?” At hearing my debate, Luna huffed.“Because life’s a bitch,” she growled under her breath, sulking. “That’s why.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny life-quotes life-philosophy alex fantasy-young-adult fantasy-series luna

I was going to become a human sand burger.

em Shattered
food books reading humour funny young-adult-series alex young-adult-fantasy

It was as if she was a wannabe Persian cat who had just tasted sour milk.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny young-adult-series young-adult-fantasy david jessica

Clearly, this was another thing I needed to add to the: ‘repetitive cycle of things that were constantly happening in my life’ list, which currently contained fainting and my ability to find trouble.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny life-philosophy young-adult-series alex young-adult-fantasy

Of course they were eaten,” he retorted, his eyes flashing in cold humour. “Trolls generally aren’t exactly renowned for being vegetarians.

books reading humour funny young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy vegetarians

Well…it’s whether you want to face certain death by taking a risk on the other route or almost certain death by scaling the walls?” she replied. “Therefore, for me, considering our options, it’s a no brainer.

em Shattered
death books reading humour funny young-adult-series young-adult-fantasy luna

How do you want me to give you that warning?” he added, grinning. Sweat rolled down his chiselled back and he wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “It comes with two settings. One that reads: ‘danger – too hot to handle’ or ‘danger – don’t get too close or you’ll get burnt.

em Shattered
humour funny young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy hotness

Man I’m hot,” I exclaimed, fanning myself. The combination of climbing out of the cave and the sun meant that I was perspiring like crazy. “Why thank you,” retorted Blaine, smirking. “I’m pleased that my presence causes that kind of reaction.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy hotness

It’s tough, but if you want to survive, sometimes you have to do the seemingly impossible.

em Shattered
books reading survival young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy

After another long silence, bit by bit, realisation dawned upon Edmund and he became even paler than Hecate herself which was, in itself, a fantastic achievement. Adele Rose, Awakening.

em Awakening
fear humour

Jeese, I thought, fear choking me. I was being targeted by a ‘tangoed’ psychopath!

em Awakening
fear humour alex

One person on their own may be able to save the world. But a team of friends, all working together, have a much greater chance of succeeding…providing that no-one succumbs to evil.’ Adele Rose, Awakening.

em Awakening
friendship evil heroism hecate

God, I felt as if I had just been flattened by ‘Elmer’ the elephant.

em Shattered
humour alex elmer

Sadly, like many times in life, including winning the lottery, we don’t always get what we wish for.

em Possession
humour young-adult-fiction alex wishes lottery fantasy-series

Clearly, she hadn’t heard of the two words ‘social’ and ‘life’.

em Possession
humour young-adult-fiction sarcasm alex social-life fantasy-series

With every step, I cursed the person who had ever invented the saying: “Speak of the devil”. Clearly, they had no sympathy for me!

em Possession
humour young-adult-fiction alex devil fantasy-series idioms

Hecate smelt the odour of death as clearly as she might smell the wonderful, scented fragrance of blooming flowers in springtime or the delicious smell of dinner wafting down the hallway.

em Possession
death humour young-adult-fiction fantasy-series hecate

How could they have forgotten the importance of today’s date? My brain screamed at me as, with shaking fingers, I climbed the stairs to the bus, before making my way to the back, out of sight. My birthday, like the norm, happens on the same date every year. Therefore, the confused part of my brain argued, how could they have all simply forgotten this fact and acted so “normal” when I entered the kitchen this morning? They may have been abducted by aliens in the night? This was a voice from the incomprehensible area of my mind. Consequently, their behaviour would make complete sense then! Furthermore, answered another voice from the same ridiculous compartment, they could’ve simply gone to bed last night fine and then awoken the next morning with amnesia? Sometimes, these things happen unexpectedly. Adele Rose, Awakening.

em Awakening
humour confusion alex birthdays

Surely, if my parents and older brother were awake now, that would mean that they would have remembered such an important date and, as soon as they saw me, congratulate me on living another year? Adele Rose, Awakening.

em Awakening
humour alex birthdays

I guess that the goddess Venus wasn’t on my side with this fine specimen of the male gender!

em Awakening
humour alex goddesses

Although he was undeniably handsome, at the end of the day, he was still some random stranger, who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, wanted to talk to me and who knew my name. The term ‘Stranger Danger’ flashed before my eyes! Therefore, no matter how hot he was, I wasn’t going to let my guard down…yet.

em Awakening
humour alex stranger

Make a run for it! A voice in my head commanded me. Make a run for it, before it’s too late! This voice was clearly sensible. However, sometimes I wasn’t sensible, especially when intrigue was involved.

em Awakening
humour alex sensible

PE! This word was comprised of two single letters, which would normally not cause anyone any trouble. They were two single letters that were usually associated with the further words of “health” and “extended life” and therefore, had a positive reputation. However, for me, the P and the E put together was the worst possible combination. Every time they were mentioned, I would sigh in displeasure, my heart rate would increase and I would feel lightheaded. After all, in my mind, PE = exercise and exercise = torture!

em Awakening
pain humour alex exercise pe

I was in my element, excuse the pun.

em Awakening
humour alex puns element

His tricks had raised the temperature of the room considerably, although I was pretty sure his presence alone had that effect.

em Awakening
humour young-adult-fiction fantasy alex hotness

How could I suddenly go from a person who had struggled to dissect an already dead mouse, to someone who was willing to murder a human being? There was no logic to it!

em Awakening
logic humour murder alex

It his mind, they reminded him of ‘Tweedle Dee’ and ‘Tweedle Dum’, with an extra emphasise placed on the ‘Dum’!

em Awakening
humour demons alice-in-wonderland mortimer

Hecate dresses in all black, is extremely pale, unearthly beautiful and has the most chilling eyes I’ve ever known. All in all, she comes across as one of ‘The Walking Dead’ – except alive and far prettier!

em Awakening
humour alex zombies the-walking-dead hecate

The library could be summed up in three words – enormous, ancient and dusty – extremely dusty. It was exactly like those magnificent libraries you more or less see in every gothic movie. What’s more, I was thankful that I was not an asthmatic, for this was most definitely their form of hell.

em Awakening
humour gothic alex library

So much for a “Happy Halloween!” I thought sarcastically. I should wear a huge sign around my neck from now onwards that reads: ‘Stay clear of me if you want your party to survive the night’!

em Awakening
humour alex party halloween

Soon, they actually began to titter on their toes as they glared at me, looking more like an army of angry wasps than ever before. All they needed now were matching yellow and black jumpers and pretend stingers!

em Possession
humour young-adult-fiction alex wasps anger-and-attitude fantasy-series

Quiet,� she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny fantasy-young-adult luna

I was just thinking that it would be nice if, for once in a while, life made things easier,� I told him, feeling annoyed. “Why does life have to throw impossible tasks at us all the time for crying out loud?� At hearing my debate, Luna huffed.“Because life’s a bitch,� she growled under her breath, sulking. “That’s why.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny life-quotes life-philosophy alex fantasy-young-adult fantasy-series luna

Clearly, this was another thing I needed to add to the: ‘repetitive cycle of things that were constantly happening in my life’ list, which currently contained fainting and my ability to find trouble.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny life-philosophy young-adult-series alex young-adult-fantasy

Of course they were eaten,� he retorted, his eyes flashing in cold humour. “Trolls generally aren’t exactly renowned for being vegetarians.

books reading humour funny young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy vegetarians

It’s tough, but if you want to survive, sometimes you have to do the seemingly impossible.

em Shattered
books reading survival young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy

Well…it’s whether you want to face certain death by taking a risk on the other route or almost certain death by scaling the walls?� she replied. “Therefore, for me, considering our options, it’s a no brainer.

em Shattered
death books reading humour funny young-adult-series young-adult-fantasy luna

Man I’m hot,� I exclaimed, fanning myself. The combination of climbing out of the cave and the sun meant that I was perspiring like crazy. “Why thank you,� retorted Blaine, smirking. “I’m pleased that my presence causes that kind of reaction.

em Shattered
books reading humour funny young-adult-series alex blaine young-adult-fantasy hotness

At the end of the day,” he continued, “although many believe in fate, it’s those who go through life with independent thought alone who are the strongest.

fate independent-thought vladimir

Sometimes you need to loose in order to win.

em Possession
inspirational young-adult-fiction winning-and-losing fantasy-series vladimir

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