The truth is, it's not the act that I'm scared of, but giving myself so entirely to someone. As long as there are lines to draw and boundaries to cling to, I can pretend that I'm safe from the wanting that threatens to consume me. I'm separate, still all my own. But after...What then? What comes after, when he has that much of me, to do with as he chooses? When I have him. Will it ever be enough?

After so many years drifting, not connected to anything, I'm finally tethered. Safe and loved, in the middle.We start senior year like kings, like nothing can ever tear us apart.We're wrong.

I win.

Our lives are made up of choices. Big ones, small ones, strung together by the thin air of good intentions; a line of dominoes, ready to fall. Which shirt to wear on a cold winter's morning, what crappy junk food to eat for lunch. It starts out so innocently, you don't even notice: go to this party or that movie, listen to this song, or read that book, and then, somehow, you've chosen your college and career; your boyfriend or wife.

Our lives are made up of choices. Big ones, small ones, strung together by the thin air of good intentions; a line of dominoes, ready to fall.

His eyes lingered on me, and I wondered if that was a message. Was he danger? Was I supposed to run? I wasn’t afraid.